Squash Your Working Mum Guilt with These 5 Points

Squash Your Working Mom Guilt with These 5 Points

Being a working woman and a mom is never easy. Deciding to be a working woman comes clouded with guilt and with time, you begin wondering if the decision you made was practical and not selfish. Most mothers worry about missing their children’s milestones, ensuring the safety of their kids, giving food on time, or missing an emotional connection with their children.

Furthermore, working moms have to deal with long working hours, terrible bosses, and deadlines that have to be met. All these can drive you on a guilt trip. However, the good news is that you don’t have to beat yourself about it.

Here are some five points to help you squash your working mum guilt.

  1. Plan Ahead

It’s easy to wake up and get caught up in the daily routine of waking the kids up, prepping breakfast for everybody, packing lunch, and ensuring that everybody is up and ready. By the time you’re leaving the house, everything seems messy, and you can’t seem to fully concentrate at work.

The best way to prevent this stress is to plan. Ensure that everything is prepared the night before including what you intend to make for breakfast and the uniform your kids need to wear. With time, you’ll notice how positive and energized you are for the day.

  1. Take Time Out to Spend with Your Children

Life sometimes gets so busy such that we forget that children are a priority, Take an off and spend the day with your children to get rid of mommy guilt. A break will help you reconnect with your children’ personality, appetite, and daily schedules.

  1. Set Realistic Expectations

It’s practically impossible to take part in every activity your children are involved in. It’s easy to beat yourself up about things you should have done but simply didn’t have time. Nonetheless, remember that you are a human being and you can’t physically do it all. Set realistic expectations for your role and allow for real life to happen.

  1. Remember that Challenges will always be Present

When you’re debating on whether to work or stay at home with the kids, remember that every role has its challenges. Stay at home moms find it difficult to get time to rest or take a shower especially when one has toddlers. Remind yourself that every mother has her challenges and you’re doing the best you can.

  1. Avoid People Who Cause You Guilt

Relatives and friends can make your life difficult by insisting that you should be a stay at home mom. None of these people should influence your decision. Find a way to avoid these people.

As a woman, taking time out and appreciating yourself as a working mum is essential. Follow the above tips to avoid the working mum guilt.

A Fine Tuned Work-Life Balance Helps Working Mothers Immensely

The task of raising children while also maintaining a work-life balance requires some coordination and planning. When both parents are working on building careers while also splitting parenting responsibilities, a work-life balance is incredibly important to make sure that you aren’t letting the most important plates fall while you’re busy spinning the less important ones.

Fine Tuning:

Let’s say you’re looking at your schedule for the coming week and you notice on Thursday that you have to stay late for a meeting, your one child has soccer practice, your other has piano lessons, and your partner is leaving for a business trip later that night. Are you going to just ‘wing it’ and assume that things will fall into place, or will take the time to plan out the evening so things can run smoothly?

There is always an element of fine tuning to maintain that balance between professional and domestic lifestyle; this helps to keep things from falling apart in moments when your schedules are tight and detailed planning is necessary for a smooth execution.

Plan out meals ahead of time.

Each weekend, plan out your dinners for the week and prepare anything that you can ahead of time.

Make double dinners.

If you’re cooking a recipe that can easily be frozen, reheated later, and served again, make a double batch of whatever it is and freeze half for another time. This way you get double the cooking done at once while using half the time.

Make a list and shop once a week.

A lot of time is wasted running to and from the store every time you need to grab something. Free up your schedule a bit by making a list of all of the things that you need to get at the store and do one big trip all at once to get everything. The twenty minutes here and twenty minutes there that you spend running to places adds up to time that would be better spent doing other things.

Don’t forget the ABC rule.

The ABC rule – Always Be Cleaning – can save you a LOT of time in the long run when you simply straighten up as you go. Embrace this idea wholeheartedly  and instill it in the rest of your family, teaching them to pick up after themselves so you don’t have to take a 2 hour chunk out of your day to do all of the cleaning.

Challenges of Being A Working Mom

Being a working mother can be one of the most rewarding things in the world. You get to raise kids and have a successful and meaningful career. However, nobody said that it would be easy. Being a working mom comes with challenges. Keep in mind though that for many the positives outweigh the challenges and struggles.

Your clothes will, most likely, always be dirty

Whether it’s spit-up, milk, peanut butter and jelly, sauce or other bodily secretions, every working mom has showed up to work with something on their outfit. You can find yourself in this situation when you’re in a rush and don’t have any extra clothes in your car or office. Be sure to carry some to-go stain remover in your purse to try and avoid these moments. It’s also never a bad idea to always have a fashionable scarf on hand to help cover any stains up.

You will always be running late

There’s always something that makes you run late whether breakfast isn’t cooked to your child’s standard of perfection or they don’t want to wear the outfit that’s picked out for that day, what should take 5 minutes has now turned into 20 minutes. As a working mother you have to learn to just roll with the punches and just keep moving.

Nothing will go as planned

You try to plan everything down to a tee but nothing ever goes as planned. You can probably chalk this up to the fact that you’re always running late. But regardless of the reason, on days when you know that you have to be somewhere at a certain time always leave yourself a lot of extra time.

You’ll probably be the first one in the office

It’s not like you want to be the only person in the office at 7am but if you want to be able to leave by 4pm to pick up your kids from school and drive them home or to their afterschool activities and still do everything else that you have to do at night then you have to be there early. Use the time when you’re alone in the office in the mornings to be extremely productive!

Sick leave will no longer be used on yourself but on your children

Whatever illness your kids brought home from school you’ll spend your sick days helping them feel better and then spend the next few days trying to recover yourself.

“Mommy guilt” is a real thing  

The guilt about leaving your kids far surpasses the guilt you feel not going to work. This guilt can hit you anytime, anywhere. You can find yourself crying in the car, with knots in your stomach, or when you’re on the way to the airport for a business trip. No matter how old your kids are there will always be times when you’ll feel mommy guilt. Just because the guilt won’t go away doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that you can do to better manage these feelings.

Going Back to Work After Having a Baby

Lori Cornmesser

America has one of the worst and shortest maternity leave policies in the world. Companies are mandated to give mothers of newborn or newly adopted children 12 weeks of unpaid leave annually. Other countries, like in Europe, for comparison, give new mothers paid leave for months after bringing their baby home. In America, while every company has to allow new mothers to take the minimum amount of time off, some companies give more time and even give paid leave. Regardless of how long you get off work and whether you get paid leave or not, many mothers find it incredibly difficult to return to work with a newborn at home. Some mothers, on the other hand, are excited to get back to work and be able to socialize with adults. For those mothers who are dreading this transition back to work, here are some tips to help make the process a little easier.

Practice your new routine before returning to work
You have to take care of a newborn, now have to return to work, continue to run the house, and find time to enjoy yourself. Trying to figure out how to balance all of these things can be extremely overwhelming. Before you go back to work make sure that you get yourself organized. Do a couple of practice runs a week or two before you’re set to start working again. If possible, arrange for you child to be in childcare for the days that you are practicing your new routine. Get used to parting with your child. Even though you may have practiced your new routine, things can come up. When the time does come for you to actually go back to work set you alarm extra early to give you extra time to work out any kinks in your schedule. The only way that your new routine will get easier is with time.

Set aside time for yourself, time with your friends, and time with your partner
If you are only spending time at the office and taking care of your child then you will likely go crazy. While it may seem like you have no extra time in your days, it’s important to schedule time into your week to spend time alone, with your friends and with your partner. You don’t want your relationships to slip through the cracks just because you have a child. It’s important to maintain your relationships with your friends and your partner. Additionally, make sure that you plan in “me time.” Work out a night when your partner will take care of your child so that you can take a long bath or read a book. No matter what you choose to do with your down time, make sure you get the time!

Plan a meeting with your boss
Going back to work after being away for a few weeks may seem daunting. You might be behind on projects or have completely missed out on something new. Schedule a meeting with your boss for your first day back to go over everything important.
Questions that you may want to ask:
Have there been any changes you need to be made aware of? These changes can be anywhere- from leadership to a shift in priorities for the department.
What are the things you need to be working on now that you’re back? Hearing this directly from your boss will give you focus and direction and help you dive right back into things.
Is there any flexibility in your schedule? Maybe you need to work from home for a day if your child is sick or you might want to switch to a part time schedule. Any questions you may have or things you want to bring up with your boss, now is your chance.

Ease into your new schedule
Going back to work may seem extremely overwhelming. One way to make this transition easier is by easing your way back into work. If your boss allows it, start in the middle of the week instead of on Monday. Working a half week instead of a full 40+ hour week will make the transition seem less intense both you and your baby. Another way that you can ease back into working is by working half days on the Thursday and Friday before you are scheduled to start working.

For those mothers who are scared and overwhelmed by the transition back to work remember that you are not alone. Many mothers feel this way and every mother who goes back to work gets through it. There are tips and tricks that you can utilize along the way to help you get through the process and make you and your baby feel more comfortable with your new schedule.